Matrescence: The Roadmap to Motherhood

Matrescence, sounds a bit like adolescence. And there is a reason why.

I am the mother of a little 15 month old baby girl, who I am quite obsessed with it's fair to say. I love the cuddles, the new words, the sheer joy on her face every morning when she sees me coming. What a change she has brought to my life! A change for the better of course, but I have to say there have been many days when the changes have overwhelmed me, and that I wasn't expecting!

Like so many, I prepared for the birth as much as I could. Antenatal classes were limited given the pandemic restrictions, but I read all the books and I looked into all the positive birth stuff I could, and in the end it was actually mostly out of my control! What I didn't think to prepare for was the road I was about to embark on into motherhood, or matrescence; the physical, emotional, hormonal and social transition to becoming a mother. And in many ways, you can't prepare until you're in the thick of it. But I think had I known more about this rite of passage that is Matrescence, it might have given me a little more perspective on what was to come (while I stocked the wardrobe with pretty outfits and headbands 😅)

When I learned of the term Matrescence (at about 9months postpartum), I also learned that it's in a way similar to adolescence, which is that period of transition from child to adult that lasts for years. But the difference was that adolescence has always been acknowledged as this; a transition, a transformation, which family, school, and society prepare you for and support you through to whatever degree. With Matrescence, I didn't feel there was as great an emphasis, if any, from the healthcare system, or people around me. It's a lot about the baby, and of course it is - they are such special little miracles. But we have to also acknowledge that while there is the birth of the baby, there is also the birth of the mother, be it the first or the last baby they have. Each pregnancy, birth, fourth trimester and beyond are different for each woman, and each one is transformative in its own way. And it was this acknowledgement that did it for me. As I read more and more about Matrescence, the penny dropped. I wasnt losing my mind, it was of course the necessary processing of all that was happening to me and around me. My body had changed dramatically, my daily routine had taken a radical shift, my hormones were crazy, sleep was minimal, I was in a constant hazy fog, and throw a global pandemic on top of it, it's all a bit nuts really! And all the while I'm transforming into this new person, with a new role, a new identity, with many new responsibilities. But nobody really talks about this stuff!! 🤯 (Or maybe they did and I tuned out 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Despite the lack of baby groups during my maternity leave, I was so fortunate to have some close friends who were having babies shortly afterwards, who kindly lent their ears to my rants on how this shift into motherhood had lifted me off my feet, swung me around and dropped me back down! Eventually, I got tired of listening to myself, and decided to go back to the tool that has helped me most during many life transitions over the last 5 years, which was yoga. I did more yoga, and read more on Matrescence as well as Postnatal Depletion (Dr Oscar Serrallach’s book), and started to understand more about all of these shifts I had been feeling so deeply. Yoga, with the new learned framework of Matrescence and some self-compassion (lots of this actually) helped me figure it out (although it's never fully figured out really!)

All of this inspired me to create my Yoga for Matrescence Workshop, which gives mamas time to acknowledge all that they have been through, at whatever stage of their journey into motherhood that they are at. If any of this resonates with you, maybe you'd like to come to the workshop too. More details on the website if you feel drawn 🙏🏻 (Testimonials below)

While the changes are big, so is the love that you feel ❤️

If you're a mum-to-be, or a new mum, I recommend checking out the work of Amy Taylor-Kabbaz and Layla O’Mara (NuaNua) for more information. I also found great comfort in the book I mentioned The Postnatal Depletion Cure by Dr Oscar Serrallach, which new mamas might find helpful too 👌🏼

By the way, wouldn't change it for the world ❤️

With love,

Aimee